Be the Coach, Not the Boss


In previous posts, I wrote about how your advice habit is making everyone around you feel less empowered and less smart. Michael Bungay Stanier is the author of The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever, a book about how to get rid of your tendency to jump in … Continue reading Be the Coach, Not the Boss

Listen More, Talk Less


In a previous post, I explored why giving advice isn’t working for you or the people you’re trying to help.  Today’s post is designed to get you into a productive listening mode. Michael Bungay Stanier is the author of The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever, a book … Continue reading Listen More, Talk Less

Take My Advice. On the Other Hand, Please Don’t.


You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. you can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. -Naguib Mahfouz Michael Bungay Stanier says you have an advice problem.  I have one, too.  Bungay Stanier is the author of The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You … Continue reading Take My Advice. On the Other Hand, Please Don’t.

Career Advice No One Tells You


When it comes to growth and your career, it helps to read as many self-help and career books and blogs as you can (says the career blogger.)  They are written to help you figure out how to achieve your goals, whether it’s to become wealthier, be more productive, or decide if side gigs are the right option … Continue reading Career Advice No One Tells You

2017 is the Year of the Red Fire Chicken


As I was preparing this post, it occurs to me that there’s a big difference between the male rooster and the female chicken. Confidence (cockiness) is literally named for the male of the species, while the female name (chicken) denotes lack of courage. How did that happen?

Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome


Take a lyre player: he’s relaxed when he performs alone, but put him in front of an audience, and it’s a different story, no matter how beautiful his voice or how well he plays the instrument. Why? Because he not only wants to perform well, he wants to be well received – and the latter … Continue reading Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome

Results Masked as Advice


One of the barriers to change, according to the authors, is the unhelpful advice people give you when they see you have a problem. We’ve all experienced this and the authors call it “Results masked as advice.” In other words, people are telling you what results that want you to achieve, instead of telling you what to do next. “Be a team player” or “Be more open to constructive criticism” sound like good advice, until you actually try to do it.