Work, success, and meaning at every stage of your career
Building skills on the job
Arthur Bell and Dayle M. Smith wrote “Difficult People at Work; How to Cope, How to Win” to help us work and live with people who make us crazy. The authors call difficult people SOP’s: Sources of Pain. They don’t try to minimize the pain you feel from difficult people; they simply try to help you manage to get work done and keep from strangling your coworkers (which this column does NOT endorse.)
At some point during your work week, someone is going to ask you for information you don’t have. There are some people (I don’t happen to be one of them) who hate to say “I don’t know.” For some reason, it makes them feel stupid, or out of touch. I never worry about that. I know lots of things, so missing an answer at any given time doesn’t make me feel dumb. In fact, it’s why I almost never use “I don’t know” by itself; I think of it as an incomplete sentence. “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” is my idea of a complete sentence.
Jodi Glickman is the author of “Great on the Job: What to Say, How to Say it” and she offers readers a step by step guide to success by saying the right things. Glickman offers scripts for getting things done at work, asking for help and managing priorities. They’re good scripts; as a manager, I can vouch for her expertise in guiding workers toward more successful outcomes. Here’s her formula for success when you have to ask for help.
Once in a great while, I’ll run into someone who asks for advice, but then rejects every offering. “I tried that once; it didn’t work.” “I can’t do that; I have no (insert resource here.)” “I don’t know how to (find, do, spell; insert another verb here) that.” When I come across these people, their responses are usually immediate and firm. I get the impression that I have not been helpful, and I certainly don’t feel good. Worse, I sometimes hear that other advisors, who I know to be smart and helpful, “were no help at all to me.” I’d hate to think that someone was saying that about me.
E is for EXCEL. If you know you’re good at something, Glickman says, you should take every opportunity to offer your expertise to the team. This is especially true if you’re good at something people don’t like to do. Offering to proof a large and complex document or to organize an event is a way to make friends among your team members or develop a great reputation with people you don’t know well.
Spaulding tells the story of applying for a prestigious Rotary scholarship, one that will give him a year of study abroad. By the time he applies, Spaulding is in college; he managed to find one small school that would take a chance on his academic record. He applies for the Rotary scholarship and is notified that he is one of ten finalists. Spaulding travels a very long distance back to his home town to meet with the selection committee. When he arrives at a local restaurant for the interview, he sees the group of tense and wary competitors lined up to wait their turn. The finalists’ name tags read like a Who’s Who of prestigious universities: Harvard, Yale, and Princeton. All but Spaulding’s, which read: East Carolina University. His spirits and confidence plunged as he considered the competition.
Honest feedback is a rare commodity; very few people will trust someone enough to open up and tell you exactly what they think. When you hear a piece of honest, thoughtful criticism, you should be grateful. Criticism is a gift; knowing where you stand is valuable intelligence, even when that knowledge stings. Here are some tips for dealing with criticism.
You should expect to be Googled and to Google people you’re going to meet. As Broughton mentions in his post, your conversation will be much better much faster if you can say, “I really liked the article you wrote on…” rather than simply commenting on the weather.
I love hearing from other bloggers – they offer great suggestions for reposts. Many people (including me) are taking time off this week, so I welcome the chance to offer a repost of a list of great reading for people in a job search. These 50 book suggestions come with short reviews and recaps, and all of them will be available at your local library. Enjoy!
If you’re an introvert in business, you probably feel different every day. Not differently; just different. I’ve met many introverts who feel that they get less attention, less credit, even fewer promotions than their extraverted peers.
