Work, success, and meaning at every stage of your career
“Thanks – you did a great job today.” It’s the simplest form of appreciation and in most cases it’s enough to warm a worker’s heart. Words of affirmation are one of the “languages of appreciation” that managers and team members use almost every day. But are they using it well?
Gary Chapman and Paul White are the authors of The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. Their book discusses why appreciation is one of the most important elements of employee motivation and satisfaction. That sounds elementary, and perhaps it is. Everyone, after all, wants workers to feel appreciated. The art is in figuring out how to make an individual feel it; the same kind of appreciation can have very different effects on different people. Over the next few posts, we’ll discuss the five “languages” of appreciation that Chapman and White examine.
Volumes have been written about when not to write. If you have something difficult to say, it’s best to say it in person, or so the advisors will tell you. Email (that’s how most business writing occurs today) is certainly not an ideal medium for tough conversations; it can be cold and impersonal. If you have a good relationship with someone, you want to temper your difficult conversation with personal signals; empathy is easier to express in person. But there are times when writing is the best medium.
Arthur Bell and Dayle M. Smith wrote “Difficult People at Work; How to Cope, How to Win” to help us work and live with people who make us crazy. The authors call difficult people SOP’s: Sources of Pain. They don’t try to minimize the pain you feel from difficult people; they simply try to help you manage to get work done and keep from strangling your coworkers (which this column does NOT endorse.)
At some point during your work week, someone is going to ask you for information you don’t have. There are some people (I don’t happen to be one of them) who hate to say “I don’t know.” For some reason, it makes them feel stupid, or out of touch. I never worry about that. I know lots of things, so missing an answer at any given time doesn’t make me feel dumb. In fact, it’s why I almost never use “I don’t know” by itself; I think of it as an incomplete sentence. “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” is my idea of a complete sentence.
Jodi Glickman is the author of “Great on the Job: What to Say, How to Say it” and she offers readers a step by step guide to success by saying the right things. Glickman offers scripts for getting things done at work, asking for help and managing priorities. They’re good scripts; as a manager, I can vouch for her expertise in guiding workers toward more successful outcomes. Here’s her formula for success when you have to ask for help.
If you’re an introvert in business, you probably feel different every day. Not differently; just different. I’ve met many introverts who feel that they get less attention, less credit, even fewer promotions than their extraverted peers.
There are four humors found in humans, according to this ancient theory. When the humors were in balance, people are healthy; when humors are out of balance, the person gets sick. Around 400 BC, Hippocrates took this theory a step further and developed personality models based on the humors: Melancholic, Choleric, Sanguine and Phlegmatic. Although the medical humor theory is long out of the mainstream, you’ll recognize these personality descriptions; we still use them today.
One of the barriers to change, according to the authors, is the unhelpful advice people give you when they see you have a problem. We’ve all experienced this and the authors call it “Results masked as advice.” In other words, people are telling you what results that want you to achieve, instead of telling you what to do next. “Be a team player” or “Be more open to constructive criticism” sound like good advice, until you actually try to do it.
Change Anything is subtitled “The New Science of Personal Success.” Written by Kerry Patterson , Joseph Grenny , David Maxfield , Ron McMillan , and Al Switzler, the book bills itself as a strategic, step by step system for adopting—and sticking to—better behaviors. The authors have tested behavior changing methods, and claim to be able to help anyone break bad habits – from addiction to overeating to being stuck in your career.
