In a previous post, I wrote about how and why we disagree. We can disagree about what’s true, arguments that can be resolved by seeking out the facts of the matter. An argument about who contributes more to household expenses should be easily resolved by looking at bank statements and receipts. An argument about what … Continue reading Why Disagreement Feels So Yucky and What to Do about It
Most of us dread conflict because we’ve decided it’s a bad thing. It’s natural to think that way, Buster Benson, author of Why Are We Yelling? The Art of Productive Disagreement says. “It’s easy to understand why we think of arguments as nuisances, like weeds. We don’t have time to deal with this crap! Having … Continue reading The Gift of Disagreement
Most of us would do almost anything to avoid conflict. From a spat with your spouse to an internet troll war, conflict feels terrible: scary, icky, even dangerous. But what if it didn’t have to be any of those things? What if conflict could be good for us – a chance to build relationships instead … Continue reading I Disagree. How Great is That?
One of her great actionable takeaways is the phrase: “The story I’m telling myself is…” She introduces the concept with a story about a time she was completely overwhelmed with work.
It’s not all about you. Really. Sometimes, it’s not even a little about you. Yet taking things personally is one of the most frequent causes of conflict in the workplace – and in life. It’s easy to fly off the handle when someone gives you a hard time. After all, you fume, it’s not like I haven’t had a bad day / bad year / bad life myself. Who is she to snap at me when I ask a simple question? Before you give her a piece of your mind, take a deep breath and ask yourself these questions.