Magic Words to Make you More Persuasive

What if there was one word – a simple word – that would increase your chances of persuading someone to do something by 50 percent? Sounds like magic, but it’s been tested and verified by social scientists for years.

That word is “because.”

Researchers have investigated persuasion for decades, and they’ve found that adding a reason to your request increases compliance by 50 percent. It really doesn’t matter what or how good it is; most people will make small concessions like letting you cut in line if you give them a reason.

Humans are wired for empathy. If we believe someone has a reason for what they’re asking, we’re likely to comply. We hope that they’d do the same for us. I watched this in action on a recent flight. We were delayed in our takeoff by about 20 minutes. As we neared our connecting airport, the flight attendant came on comms and said, “Because we were delayed, we know some of you have very tight connections. Raise your hand and keep it up if you’re going to Birmingham… Cincinnati…Houston…” she listed off a couple more cities, and by the time she finished, about 20 passengers all over the plane had their hands up.

“Please look around the plane at the raised hands,” she said. “These people would really appreciate it if you’d let them get their luggage and get to the front of the plane first when we land. Thanks so much for being considerate.” Everyone waited patiently for the passengers to disembark first. It was beautiful.

There are some other magic words to know. Using the term “I recommend” rather than “I like” makes people 32 percent more likely to take your suggestion, for example. It elevates your opinion to expertise.

Jonah Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. His new book is “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.” Here are some of his suggestions.

Turn a verb into an identity.  People are more likely to do or change a behavior when it’s described an part of their identity. Saying you’re a runner helps motivate you to run. I know that my commitment to my craft intensified dramatically when I started calling myself a writer instead of simply telling people that I wrote. In fact, my business card title is still Candace Moody: writer.

Be specific. When you use specific language, people are more likely to stay with you, buy from you, and spend more with you. Telling your customer you’ll find that sweater “in a gray medium” is more effective that telling them you’ll go look for what they want. Telling your employer that you will commit to “30 minutes of preparation before the board meeting” is more effective than saying “I’ll get ready before the meeting.”

Use present tense. Researchers found that present language is more persuasive to an audience because it makes data feel more current and more relevant to the future. So say “we find” instead of “we found.” “Our customers tell us” instead of “our customers told us.”

Erik Barker, author of Barking up the Wrong Tree, writes in a post: “If you’re trying to get people to divulge negative information even when it’s not in their interest… Change the default position in your question. When asking about that used car, don’t say, “It doesn’t have any problems, does it?” This assumes there are none and in studies it was less effective than flipping the default and asking, “So what problems does it have?” This assumes there are issues that need to be discussed and people were more forthcoming about revealing them.”

I have used this technique before; if you voice the question casually, you give the impression that you expect problems and that they won’t be a deal-breaker. That helps lower the defensiveness of the other party and allows them to open up and tell you what you really want to know.

Just like magic.