Connecting with People

Being tuned in to other people’s emotions – and taking steps to make them feel better about themselves – will help you become more likeable. Lowndes says that people will associate you – and the memory of you – with the emotion they experienced when they met you. If you make someone uncomfortable, she’ll avoid you. Make him feel warm and appreciated, and he’ll get a warm feeling whenever he thinks about you.

How to Instantly Connect with Anyone

Leil Lowndes is a management consultant and speaker and author of How to Instantly Connect with Anyone: 96 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. Her book helps you understand the basics of making other people feel comfortable and, well, good around you. Her theory is that if you make someone feel good about themselves, they will get a warm, Pavlovian feeling every time they see you. Conversely, if you make people uncomfortable, that sense of unease follows whenever they see you.