Stay Relevant Advice Column

Finding a mentor can be challenging. Here’s a plan for a young worker who’s con fused about the process.

Welcome to the Stay Relevant advice column, where we answer readers’ burning questions about their careers and how thrive in a fast-changing workplace. Candace Moody, a career coach and writer with more than 30 years of experience, offers insight into what’s bothering you and what might be keeping you stuck. Send your questions to candace@candacemoody.com.

Dear Stay Relevant:

I’m a Gen Z worker in a profession and a company I care about. We’re in the office mostly full time now, and I’ve been seeing advice about using this time to find a mentor. But I have no idea how to make that happen. It feels a little like my 6-year-old self would be asking a kid on the playground to be my friend. Awkward, and I’m not even sure what I mean by “being mentored.” Can you help?

Kid on the Adult Playground

Dear Kid:

Mentorship is simply finding a more experienced person to give you advice. Like networking (another sometimes scary word for younger workers), it’s best to have specific goals in mind. That is to say that you do the work of figuring out what would be helpful instead of making your mentor do it.

Here’s what I would do.

If your company is a larger one, they may have a defined mentorship program that matches workers based on skills and experience. Ask your manager about that. If it doesn’t exist, you can turn the conversation with your manager to ask what they think you should be working on improving. It could go two ways: working on skills you consider a weakness or one that you’d like to be using in the future. Or you could be working on developing a strength that your manager values in your work already. (Good to Great.)

Once you have the what, you’ll need to think about the who and the why. Your manager can be helpful here to make a connection for you. You might choose to approach someone who performs the same function you do, or someone whose career path and skill set you admire on its own merits. Your manager might be able to provide insight on personality: how willing they’ll be and how easy they will be to work with. (Pick an Andy Sachs over a Miranda Priestly for a first experience.)

The ask should be specific, brief, and low risk for both parties. A mentoring relationship develops over time based on both parties’ ability to commit time and energy. I’d start with a very simple request, and there’s a time-proven formula for it. Compliment, request, thank.  “My manager and I both think I would benefit from strengthening my public speaking and presentation skills. They say yours are the best in the company (or some other legitimate compliment). If I prepared a short presentation and slide deck, would you be willing to give me feedback on it? I plan to take up no more than an hour of your time at your convenience.”

The answer might be “maybe,” even “no.” Then the thank you is for their consideration. If the answer is “yes,” you thank them sincerely and ask how you can schedule a time to get together (giving yourself time to prepare your best work.) Once you have their feedback, you might ask if you can make the changes they suggest and get together again. Take it slowly, read their cues, and see what develops.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes – Candace