Redefining Networking

Monique Kelley is the author Redefining Networking: How to Lead with Your Unique Value, a guide for how to network more effectively by leading with the value that you can provide to others, not for what others can do for you. The book is full of practical advice, providing direction for how you can build and maintain meaningful, mutually supportive relationships over one‑and‑done transactions. Kelley realizes that many people, including the communications students she teaches at Boston University, find the concept of “networking” incredibly cringe. Yet it’s one of the most important skills anyone, at any stage of their career, should develop.

I have received almost every job lead in my career through my network. Kelley says the same about her career, from her start in PR agencies through consulting with Global brands such as Pfizer, Roche, Lilly, GSK and Merck, and finally to a career in academia which she loves. When she talks, we should listen.

Her approach to networking is something that everyone – whether they’re a student, just starting their career, or working toward their next big opportunity – can implement.

But let’s start with a definition: what exactly is networking? The dictionary says it’s “the strategic process of building and nurturing mutually beneficial relationships with other professionals, businesses, and potential clients to exchange knowledge, resources, and opportunities for career growth, partnerships, or business development.”

Here are the key elements of that description:

• Strategic
• Mutually beneficial relationships
• To exchange

Kelley emphasizes all these ideas and adds a few more reasons to network. They include discovering new ideas, growing both personally and professionally, meeting influencers, staying updated on trends, and finding new inspiration.

One of her key principles is the idea of staying in contact with people you’ve connected with over the years (and it probably feels easier and more natural than meeting new strangers.) Don’t neglect relationships that you’ve built or decide that since you’ve moved on from a job, you’re also obligated to move on from the people. Professors, classmates, coworkers, and customers from previous jobs can, and should, be a part of your professional network.

Kelley writes, “Most of the fears from people I engage with about the topic stem from not wanting to talk to strangers or ask someone for favors. This is consistent with research reported by Harvard Business Review, which shows that networking is often perceived as a transaction. Therein lies the problem: the notion that networking is a cold transaction.”

She gives a perfect example. She occasionally gives talks to the business networking groups that are ubiquitous in almost every city. “‘How many of you are here hoping to possibly sell something?,’” she asks.  “Usually the majority, if not the whole room, raises their hands. Then I ask, ‘How many of you are hoping to buy something?’ Nobody raises their hands. Usually not even one single person.” It’s one of the reasons people dislike the idea of networking so much, in my opinion.

Kelley again: “This phenomenon is what I call The Networking Disconnect. Businesspeople show up to events looking to promote or sell something but almost nobody is there to buy something. This is why networking goes off of the rails; people use it as a face to face cold‑calling opportunity instead of a relationship building opportunity.”

We’ll look at Kelley’s guidance on how to approach networking in future posts.