I’ve been sharing tips from Charlie Houpert, the 20-something author of Charisma on Command: Inspire, Impress, and Energize Everyone You Meet . He has a formula for “taking your confidence and charisma to the next level in the situations where you need it the most.”
Houpert has some actionable tips for becoming more charismatic. Here are a few.
Charisma, he writes, doesn’t convince. “Someone with real charisma,” he writes, “respects that other people have different opinions. They don’t seek other people’s approval to make a decision or hold an opinion. They’re confident that they will meet other people who will agree with them.”
So if an investor doesn’t like your pitch, stop selling him. Find another. If you don’t get hired for the job, move on; find a company that gets you and needs you on their team. The minute you look back and try to persuade someone to change their mind, you have given up your power – and your charisma. You must have confidence that someone out there will see your value and want you. That conviction is part of what will make them want you, in fact.
Here’s another tip: your energy is more important than your message. Houpert writes that charismatic energy is high energy, which means being extremely awake and alive. It’s also positive energy. You may not be the kind of person to jump on stage and wave your arms at the audience; that’s okay. There is such a thing as quiet charisma (think cool like Barak Obama, Paul Newman, Humphrey Bogart or Lauren Bacall.)
Charisma is also positive. How many times a day do you complain, whine, or grumble? Not cool. Not charismatic.
Charismatic people also aren’t afraid to show their passion for an idea or a cause. They believe in what they care about, and it comes through in the energy they project. They’re in touch with their emotions. You may think your emotions are accidental – they just happen. Houpert says you’re mistaken. He writes: “Emotions don’t come to us. We go to them.”
You can choose what you’ll feel in this moment: joy, excitement, gratitude – or fear, anger, despair. Your choice, believe it or not.
Charismatic people choose high energy, positive, passionate and joyful emotions every time. And they’re contagious. They make people around them feel more alive as well. It’s part of the reason charisma translates as “gift from the gods.”
Charlie Houpert’s book contains action steps to help you practice building charisma. You’ll find lot of other tips on his YouTube channel as well.