I Don’t Do Casual at Work

Welcome back to the Stay Relevant advice column, where we answer readers’ burning questions about their careers and how thrive in a fast-changing workplace.

Send your questions to candace@candacemoody.com

Dear Stay Relevant:

I work in an office with a mix of generations and a very casual dress code. Except for client meetings, we can wear what we want. Many of my younger colleagues take this to mean there’s no outfit that’s off limits. Some of them look pretty sloppy (think ratty hoodies and sweatpants.)

I feel it takes away from their professionalism, and I prefer to dress in a more businesslike style. I’m not wearing interview suits every day, but my clothes are smart and stylish. I feel more comfortable when I know I look my best.

But the other day, someone told me (as a “favor”) that my clothes make me look stuffy and dated. I’m worried that people will think I’m too “stuffy” to contribute anything creative or innovative, and I know that’s not the case. What should I do about this?

Clothes-minded

Dear Clothes: Your question is a classic example of the challenges of having several generations work together. What was the standard even 10 years ago might have changed dramatically (and for the record, not always for the better.)

We’re having this conversation in all kinds of public spaces, from restaurants to special events to traveling through airports. It’s Team Comfort, that insists that what you do matters more than how you dress, vs. Team Style, that says what you choose to wear matters and signals how serious and professional you are.

But how others perceive you matters. Chris and I coined the term “Mirrorset” to address first impressions, personal brand, authentic communication, and cultural fit. From body language to online presence, from wardrobe to word choice, every interaction broadcasts your brand. Being aware of your mirrorset ensures the story you’re telling matches the story you want told—making you memorable, relatable, and trusted in any professional setting.

You might be right that the staff dressing like they’re at home bingeing Netflix may be eroding their professional reputation. You might also be right that people perceive your more formal dress as a signal that you’re stuck in a previous era.

You don’t indicate whether you like and trust the individual who gave you the feedback. If you do, they may have had your best interests at heart. If they’re not really part of your circle of trusted teammates, you could simply ignore the feedback. But you could get curious about it. Check in with someone you know will give you genuine advice. A trusted coworker, say, or your manager. “I know that the way I dress every day is a little more formal that the rest of the team. What do you think it says about me?”

Then listen. It may be that your formal dress makes you seem less approachable. Or that people think you’re dressing to impress management and position yourself for a promotion. Maybe they think it signals that you have money to invest in your wardrobe, unlike the peasants around you.

When you have some feedback you trust, you can think about how to tweak your outfits to make them seem more current, if needed. You can mix professional, tailored pieces with comfortable, polished items like dark-wash jeans, structured blazers, or more casual shoe styles. Accessories like eyeglasses and jewelry, when updated, can refresh your look as well.

You don’t have to dress like a teenager to modernize your look. There are some terrific resources online for finding a style that works for you and won’t break the bank. Look for a stylist or influencer whose look or advice feels like your best look, just slightly newer.

Best Wishes – Candace