I have a birthday this week and knowing that I’ve completed another trip around the sun always makes me… conflicted. On the one hand, growing old is a privilege; I understand that and believe it with all my heart. Plus, you get cake on your birthday. But as you reach your 60s, your perspective on what you have to offer changes.
There was a time when I was the youngest person in the room. I was lucky enough to be hired into a great organization that was leading the way for change in our industry. I had good ideas, and was invited to the table with respected leaders to talk about those ideas. I was what passed for a wunderkind in my circle of influence.
Today, although I’m still full of ideas, I’m no longer a kind and perhaps not even any longer a wunder. I’ve been retired from my full time career for five years. These days, I’m almost always the oldest person in the room or at the table, and I worry about being considered too old to contribute meaningful things in a fast-paced modern world. So far, no one has said, “OK, Boomer” to my face, but I sometimes hold back what I really think, not wanting to remind anyone of their mom – or God forbid, their grandma.
It’s one of the reasons I am so fierce about embracing new technology. I may be in my 60s, but I don’t need anyone to help me connect my printer to Bluetooth or figure out a new software program. (I don’t have any grandchildren, anyway; I’m on my own.)
It’s been my experience that women feel their age more and more early than men do. We are no longer subject to – or slaves to – the male gaze, which is both a little sad and very, very freeing. I’m no accidental fashion icon, but I can dress for myself now and wear comfortable shoes. No one notices (except my fabulous husband, sometimes), and no one cares. My feet no longer hurt from high heels, and all my clothes are loose and comfortable. I tell everyone I have decided never to leave my Stevie Nicks era. She’s still fabulous, still touring, and still dresses like it’s 1977. (And she’s 10 years older than me.)
Here are six things I hope you’ll embrace as you leave your wunderkind era for your wunder älter era.
- You’re never as good as you think you are, and never as bad as they say you are. In five years, it won’t matter anyway. Do what you think is right.
- Forget about having a great career and focus on doing interesting work. Your career will end someday, but you can do interesting work forever.
- Never mistake an award for doing something well for the reward of doing it because you want to. Or because it needed to be done.
- (Credit to author Roger Rosenblatt) Join a gang. Especially as you age, you need a posse you can count on. To cheer you on, bring you soup, or drive the getaway car. His advice was mostly for men, but Roger Roseblatt says, “Joining a gang also serves society at large. It keeps us off the streets.”
- Whether you’re working for someone else or for yourself, you’re only as good as your last gig. Bring your A game to everything. People expect results, but they also respect effort. It’s OK to be the record holder in your age group.
- Be good. Be kind. And don’t be afraid to call out anyone who’s not being good or kind. Or even kind of good. Life is too short to be mean or tolerate mean people.
By the way, happy early birthday to Stevie Nicks, who turns 77 on May 26. Still killing at after all these years.
Your Work, Your Way 